An adventure in mono.

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Back when I was a wedding photographer, I would sit editing images for hours and hours. Eventually, I would entice my girlfriend into my office with a cup of tea so she could cast her eye over my edits as a final check before they were uploaded to a gallery and fired across to the happy couple. Without fail the most common feedback I received (apart from horizons not being quite straight!) was that there were just too many black and white images. Next came the inevitable debate where I fought for the black and white pictures, and she explained that, though I may love black and white, my clients may not want so many of their memories in mono. …


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Photo by Christian Dubovan on Unsplash

Shortly after getting my first job at 18, I left home. I was only making £495 a month on a modern apprenticeship scheme, £226 of which paid the rent on a room in a shared house which just about fit a single bed, a chest of drawers, and a wardrobe.

Two of the guys living downstairs were drug dealers, one recently out of prison and there were multiple incidents between the girl who lived upstairs and her father who would come to the house screaming in the street.

Yeah, it was a strange time in my life.

A year later, I got offered a job earning about three times this amount, and unsurprisingly I was much better off! I moved out of the shared house and got my own home with its own garden, a nice kitchen, and a living room that didn’t house half-drank bottles of budget brand cider and other slightly more illegal substances. …


And three questions to help them fight back

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Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

One of the most common issues I see from first-time writers (though this issue doesn’t seem limited to beginners) is that of a passive protagonist. A passive protagonist is a character who just seems like they’re along for the ride, they don’t do enough to really warrant them being the protagonist.

One of the worst cases I ever saw of this was in a sci-fi script last year. Throughout the whole story, the protagonist didn’t make one single decision.

And I’m not over exaggerating.

Not one decision was made by the main character.

But what’s the problem with having a passive protagonist? Well, at best, it undermines the character’s motivation if they have any. If they aren’t actively striving toward the goal that has been laid out for them, then they can’t really want it that much, right? …


And share it with your family.

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Photo by Anton on Unsplash

1 — Go outside

Leave your house and go pretty much wherever you want. Sure the government, every doctor, scientist and Susan from Facebook tell you to stay home but what do they know?

Bonus round — It’s nice to be nice. Shake hands with everyone you see!

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2 — Don’t wash your hands

For days if possible. For extra infection points be sure to hold your hands away from the spray of the shower head each morning.

Bonus round — Better yet, don’t shower.

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3 — Throw a party

When you’re not frolicking about outside you’re going to want to cram as many people in your house as possible. …


Even if it took me a while to realise it.

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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Up until 2017, the last time I heard the word ‘Algorithm’ was A-Level Maths in 2007. It had been ten years since those classes, and yet the word struck fear into my very soul much in the same way it had all those years before.

The Instagram Algorithm became the talk of the E-town almost overnight. YouTube influencers promising viewers that their way was the only way to gain more followers. Posts on Facebook claiming that using the platform a certain way was the only way to guarantee success. If you didn’t follow these tips, then you may as well delete your account and hurl your phone into an active volcano. Whole groups were dedicating themselves to cracking the code, with one overhanging question; how can we make the algorithm work in our favour? …


Follow this handy guide for absolute inactivity.

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Photo by Mike Tinnion on Unsplash

Over the past six months, I have been incredibly successful in getting absolutely no writing done whatsoever. Take a look at my profile if you don’t believe me, my last Medium story was published on June 25th 2019 and let me assure you, I’ve written nothing else either! I can tell you’re impressed.

With absolutely no hard work, you too can waste six months and find yourself at a complete loss of exactly how to kick yourself up the backside. …


Writing sure is a scary thing. Sharing your work is even scarier.

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Photo by niu niu on Unsplash

During my very first seminar at university, we were asked to come up with an idea for a single scene based upon a particular photo. After ten minutes or so, we went around the room of around 30 students and shared our thoughts. The amazing thing was that not one single idea was even remotely similar to another. We had all looked at the photograph and connected with some part of it, and our imaginations had run with the idea in entirely different directions. …


Gross, but incredible.

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Photo by Brittany Colette on Unsplash

If you’re reading this before you eat, I do apologise!

We’ve all, at some point in our writing careers, been hit by writer’s block. At its best, you might eke out a couple of sentences, at it’s very worst you can’t even look at your paper/screen. There are a plethora of different methods of how to get past writer’s block, all of which probably work to some degree! If you’re anything like me, then I’m sure you’ve tried most of them at some point!

But why is writer’s block a thing and is it possible to avoid it altogether?

While of course, it’s different for everyone, it seems to me that writer’s block originates from feeling like whatever you write won’t be good enough. We can all write, that’s never the actual problem. It’s not difficult. What is difficult is writing something worth reading! The problem for many writers (and creatives in general) is that from the moment we sit down to write we are expecting incredible work to spill from our fingertips gracing the page with work so wonderful it would make Shakespeare bawl his eyes out with envy. …


Fake it!

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Photo by Tom Sodoge on Unsplash

Throughout my early twenties, I worked in the hospitality industry. Sometimes it was part-time while studying and other times it was full time. For those of you who have had the pleasure of working in a restaurant or pub, you’ll know that with those kinds of jobs comes a lot of walking. It was not uncommon for me to hit 30,000 steps in a day on a busy day. It helped that I’d also walk between 20 and 45 minutes to work (depending on the job and where I lived.)

Now I work from home, and my commute is the walk from my bedroom to my office… Which I’d guess is about 15 steps. …


No matter how many people you tell.

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Photo by Luma Pimentel on Unsplash

On May 6th 2019, Meghan Markle gave birth to her first child. A joyous occasion for all involved. Which naturally means their immediate family and friends, plus a few billion other people. As always happens with any kind of news regarding the Royals, a media frenzy exploded, dousing our daily lives with 17 different theories an hour. (Apparently, one theory states that they used a surrogate mother and Meghan has been wearing prosthetic bellies of varying sizes for the past nine months… Bizarre!)

I must admit that I am no royalist and couldn’t tell the Duke of Whatsit from the Duchess of Thingamajig if my life depended on it. Which I don’t see how it could… I didn’t even know the gender of the child until writing the first draft of this article. …

About

Bradley Allen

Script reader/editor, freelance writer, photographer and pizza enthusiast. No pineapple. Instagram @bradley_allen_photography

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