5 Amazing Ways YOU Can Catch the Coronavirus.
1 — Go outside
Leave your house and go pretty much wherever you want. Sure the government, every doctor, scientist and Susan from Facebook tell you to stay home but what do they know?
Bonus round — It’s nice to be nice. Shake hands with everyone you see!
2 — Don’t wash your hands
For days if possible. For extra infection points be sure to hold your hands away from the spray of the shower head each morning.
Bonus round — Better yet, don’t shower.
3 — Throw a party
When you’re not frolicking about outside you’re going to want to cram as many people in your house as possible. Just start grabbing people off the streets if you can find any.
Bonus round — Get everyone doing the cinnamon challenge.
4 — Get the daily essentials in.
And by this I mean go to the shops and buy whatever you may need to get you through the day. Then repeat every day.
Bonus round — See how many stores you can spread your shopping across.
5 — Don’t work from home!
Why stay at home doing your work when there’s a perfectly good office to commute to and from five days a week? Plus, there’s no vending machine at home.
Bonus round — Think of the environment. Don’t drive, take public transport.
Disclaimer — Contrary to the actions of some members of the public, none of this is a good idea. Just stay at home you wally!